A cold

It slowly crept in. The looming threat had been there long enough. Like an elephant in the room, everyone around me had been dropping like flies. First the cough, then the sore throats, and oh the mucus! Nothing could have been worse, except for maybe getting gum stick in your braces back in the middle school days. And then it happened, just like clockwork. First the cough, then the sore throat, finally the chest congestion. Waking up with this uninvited guest who had completely laid waste to the organs in my thoracic cavity. Diminished lung capacity crippled my activity levels. I knew this had to be the end. Why must the good die young?


Sincerely,
Ann

A walk to class

With my steamy chai tea latte finally in hand I set forth to my next class. The wind had become bitter cold during the night and the temperature was laying victim to the unfortunate souls that mindlessly trudged on to their respective buildings. We weren't quite ready for this weather change. We never truly are. The weather is about as stable as a squirrel on caffeine. As I continue to make my way up the sidewalk I grip my scarf in one hand and my cooling latte in the other. The wind, constant as time itself, burrowed deep. Through my jacket, through my sweater and scarf, through my skin and straight to my bones. The only relief I got was when I finally entered the solace of my building. Dodging in and out of fellow students I reach my seat, unpack my notebook and pens, and grab my long awaited latte. Embracing the cup, the warm, sweet beverage with spicy cinnamon notes that plague my memory. My favorite winter drink about to enter my body and consume my soul. Now cold.



Sincerely,
Ann

Her heart was like that of a gypsy..,

Her heart was like that of a gypsy,

She wanted to wander and roam. 

To feel the splash of the ocean from the rocks above,

The waves beating the constant foam. 

She wanted to walk the forgotten paths, 

Where olden kings once tread. 

She wanted to spend sleepless nights

Gazing at the stars with only the grass for a bed. 

In a world where technology consumed

All the thoughts of those trapped

She wanted to be free,

To be sitting by a fire in a shawl wrapped 

Her heart was like that of a gypsy,

She wanted to wander and roam. 

To leave both friends and loved ones,

To leave the place she called home. 

Sincerely,

Ann

Goodbye 2016

Another year has come and gone. Let me just be frank: 2016 stunk. If I could find a way to erase an entire year out of the history books then I would. But I don't hold that kind of power and I guess that's why I hated 2016 so much. I would try and hold the world in my sinful hands and watch as life would slip right through. I would become frustrated that life wasn't going "my way" and then give up from pure exhaustion. Or at least until I tried to take control of it again. This was the viscous cycle that I had trapped myself in during 2016. Pretty soon it had become the new normal for me. I knew that life could be so much better if I'd just let go of it but that would mean change. Above all else I can't stand change. 

That is until today. I don't know if it was because of the fresh start that a new year brings, but i knew that change needed to happen. It started off with joining a new church. I had been going to this church for 6 months now and knew that this is where I needed to be. I had been dragging my feet about joining, well, because that meant change. Not that i didn't want to, I just kept making excuses for why I hadn't joined yet. All through the sermon I kept hearing "you can do this, it's not that hard, trust me..." and I kept trying to quiet the call. And then when the invitation started I heard "GO" and before I knew it I was halfway down front. I was nervous, scared, excited, and calm all at the same time.

Looking back I see how easy it was for me to make that small step, but I guess that's just how I work. I over complicate things and make mountains out of mole hills. I want things to run perfectly but know they never will go my way. So I just don't take any risks and fear my own disappointment. I sit on the sidelines and watch life go by while I sit contently and observe. But I'm tired of not participating. I'm tired of watching my friends go out and do awesome things and wish I could do that too. I'm tired of missing opportunities to serve others. Tired of staying when I can go!

If it were up to me I'd run away and become a gypsy and travel across the world, meeting new people and sharing in new experiences. This is my other extreme. My heart yearns to roam, to be free, to do whatever suits my fancy for the day. But I know all too well that this isn't exactly practical. And while my instinct is to run, I'm stuck here with school and work. This goes back to me trying to take control of my life. We are put exactly where we are for a reason. We have a purpose for whatever stage of life we are in. Sometimes the purpose is to obey our parents and go to school, sometimes it's to love and cherish our spouse, sometimes it's to raise up godly children, and sometimes it's to impart wisdom to others. 

This can be why we struggle with life. We want to follow our aspirations while ignoring our purpose. We try to take control of life and make it how we want it. I have found from my own experiences that this rarely works. In 2016 I tried to make life follow my plan(or lack thereof) and became frustrated when it crumbled all around me. And Just because I joined a church today, I am by no means a perfect human being. I still make mistakes hourly, I get mad, I fail to communicate well, I don't always try my best. But that's what being a Christian means. We trust in God and in his plan. We will never be perfect here in earth but know that He is the one that holds our days in his hands. 

So take 2016 and give it back to God. And while you're at it go ahead and give him 2017 as well. I promise he can do a lot better at keeping track of it then anything we could ever do. Oh goodness! It's already the second day of the new year. Just remember my dear readers "it is later then you actually think it is, but it's never too late". 

Sincerely,

Ann