A cold

It slowly crept in. The looming threat had been there long enough. Like an elephant in the room, everyone around me had been dropping like flies. First the cough, then the sore throats, and oh the mucus! Nothing could have been worse, except for maybe getting gum stick in your braces back in the middle school days. And then it happened, just like clockwork. First the cough, then the sore throat, finally the chest congestion. Waking up with this uninvited guest who had completely laid waste to the organs in my thoracic cavity. Diminished lung capacity crippled my activity levels. I knew this had to be the end. Why must the good die young?


Sincerely,
Ann

A walk to class

With my steamy chai tea latte finally in hand I set forth to my next class. The wind had become bitter cold during the night and the temperature was laying victim to the unfortunate souls that mindlessly trudged on to their respective buildings. We weren't quite ready for this weather change. We never truly are. The weather is about as stable as a squirrel on caffeine. As I continue to make my way up the sidewalk I grip my scarf in one hand and my cooling latte in the other. The wind, constant as time itself, burrowed deep. Through my jacket, through my sweater and scarf, through my skin and straight to my bones. The only relief I got was when I finally entered the solace of my building. Dodging in and out of fellow students I reach my seat, unpack my notebook and pens, and grab my long awaited latte. Embracing the cup, the warm, sweet beverage with spicy cinnamon notes that plague my memory. My favorite winter drink about to enter my body and consume my soul. Now cold.



Sincerely,
Ann

Her heart was like that of a gypsy..,

Her heart was like that of a gypsy,

She wanted to wander and roam. 

To feel the splash of the ocean from the rocks above,

The waves beating the constant foam. 

She wanted to walk the forgotten paths, 

Where olden kings once tread. 

She wanted to spend sleepless nights

Gazing at the stars with only the grass for a bed. 

In a world where technology consumed

All the thoughts of those trapped

She wanted to be free,

To be sitting by a fire in a shawl wrapped 

Her heart was like that of a gypsy,

She wanted to wander and roam. 

To leave both friends and loved ones,

To leave the place she called home. 

Sincerely,

Ann

Goodbye 2016

Another year has come and gone. Let me just be frank: 2016 stunk. If I could find a way to erase an entire year out of the history books then I would. But I don't hold that kind of power and I guess that's why I hated 2016 so much. I would try and hold the world in my sinful hands and watch as life would slip right through. I would become frustrated that life wasn't going "my way" and then give up from pure exhaustion. Or at least until I tried to take control of it again. This was the viscous cycle that I had trapped myself in during 2016. Pretty soon it had become the new normal for me. I knew that life could be so much better if I'd just let go of it but that would mean change. Above all else I can't stand change. 

That is until today. I don't know if it was because of the fresh start that a new year brings, but i knew that change needed to happen. It started off with joining a new church. I had been going to this church for 6 months now and knew that this is where I needed to be. I had been dragging my feet about joining, well, because that meant change. Not that i didn't want to, I just kept making excuses for why I hadn't joined yet. All through the sermon I kept hearing "you can do this, it's not that hard, trust me..." and I kept trying to quiet the call. And then when the invitation started I heard "GO" and before I knew it I was halfway down front. I was nervous, scared, excited, and calm all at the same time.

Looking back I see how easy it was for me to make that small step, but I guess that's just how I work. I over complicate things and make mountains out of mole hills. I want things to run perfectly but know they never will go my way. So I just don't take any risks and fear my own disappointment. I sit on the sidelines and watch life go by while I sit contently and observe. But I'm tired of not participating. I'm tired of watching my friends go out and do awesome things and wish I could do that too. I'm tired of missing opportunities to serve others. Tired of staying when I can go!

If it were up to me I'd run away and become a gypsy and travel across the world, meeting new people and sharing in new experiences. This is my other extreme. My heart yearns to roam, to be free, to do whatever suits my fancy for the day. But I know all too well that this isn't exactly practical. And while my instinct is to run, I'm stuck here with school and work. This goes back to me trying to take control of my life. We are put exactly where we are for a reason. We have a purpose for whatever stage of life we are in. Sometimes the purpose is to obey our parents and go to school, sometimes it's to love and cherish our spouse, sometimes it's to raise up godly children, and sometimes it's to impart wisdom to others. 

This can be why we struggle with life. We want to follow our aspirations while ignoring our purpose. We try to take control of life and make it how we want it. I have found from my own experiences that this rarely works. In 2016 I tried to make life follow my plan(or lack thereof) and became frustrated when it crumbled all around me. And Just because I joined a church today, I am by no means a perfect human being. I still make mistakes hourly, I get mad, I fail to communicate well, I don't always try my best. But that's what being a Christian means. We trust in God and in his plan. We will never be perfect here in earth but know that He is the one that holds our days in his hands. 

So take 2016 and give it back to God. And while you're at it go ahead and give him 2017 as well. I promise he can do a lot better at keeping track of it then anything we could ever do. Oh goodness! It's already the second day of the new year. Just remember my dear readers "it is later then you actually think it is, but it's never too late". 

Sincerely,

Ann

5 minutes...

Writing is a skill that I have never truly mastered. Sure, I can write, and occasionally I can write well. It's just a struggle to get all of my ideas out of my head quick enough and in a logical order. But I have decided to work on that with some creative writing projects.

This first project came from the following prompt: "Write a short paragraph ending with the words: He would give anything to turn back the clock five minutes." This proved encouraging and challenging all at the same time! I told myself that it would be easy because it was only one little paragraph. But that was also the hard part. Condensing an entire story into just a few sentences was tricky because I wanted to add details about my character, what had happened earlier that week, give him a family or friend group, give him an actual, proper story. But no. One paragraph. This was the result.

As a coworker tossed a stack of reports onto the desk, they knocked over a cup of cold, black coffee. It trickled across his desk, onto his khaki slacks, and inevitably onto the beige carpet. This is just great! I don't have a change of clothes and she'll see me like this. There was nothing he could do at this point except run the reports down the hall to his supervisor. She had only noticed his blemished appearance because his speed caused him to trip directly in front of her cubicle. She rushed to help him with compassion in her eyes but he was already up and walking away. Her compassion had turned to disgust because he had completely disregarded her efforts. But he didn't know what else to do so he kept going. The shame and horror that happened couldn't be removed from his mind. I'll never get another chance with her now. He would give anything to turn back the clock five minutes.

Its not perfect, but its mine. It took three different tries to come up with a story that I liked. I encourage you to try this for yourself! take the prompt and write your own! And don't forget to post them in the comment section below.


Sincerely, Ann

My Special Place {a poem}

A spring breeze came wafting down the street. 

The dogwoods were in bloom. 

I felt the sun's gentle heat

As I stepped out of my room. 

I stepped out not the front door,

Nor down the hall. 

But went straight out the window;

Onto the roof I crawled. 

Other people sit on park benches 

Or upon seats with lots of space. 

But my springtime solitude

Drew me to this hard-to-reach place. 

In the mornings I sit there quietly

Listening to the birds twittering. 

But the evenings are just as beautiful 

With the late sun a'glittering. 

But I can't go up there today

Not even perhaps tomorrow. 

Because the rain will not stay away

Keeping away the sun's warm glow. 

Sincerely,

Ann

Single thus far...

Well, it’s been a week since Valentine’s Day. The stores have sold out of their candy supply and the “lovie dovies” have settled down, for the most part. This was my 21^st Valentine’s Day that I celebrated as “single”. And by single I mean no boyfriend/fiancée/husband. I have never been in a “relationship” of the sorts. I have had many guy friends but no romantic relation. “Oh you poor girl! You’re almost 21 years old and have never had a boyfriend?” Yes, this is true. And it’s not like I haven’t ever wanted one. Someone to hold on those lonely nights, someone to share major milestones with, someone to cherish for the rest of my earthly life…

But I say all this to bring hope and encouragement (even though it doesn’t sound like it at first glance). For those of you who are struggling with your singleness, know that you’re not alone! Singleness, as well as marriage, is a beautiful gift from God! Let me give a little back story to help explain this. When I was younger I was, well I don’t really know how to describe myself. I wasn’t quite the full out tom boy, but I wasn’t a girly girl either. I loved to run around and play outside, build things with wood and nails, and play with mud. I also loved playing kitchen, sewing, and putting on nail polish. So I liked to do things. I had both guys and girls as childhood companions. As I got older, I felt myself wanting to hang around guys more. This wasn’t because I thought they were “cute” and wanted their attention! Boys still had “cuties”. I just knew that my guy friends did a lot of the same things that I wanted to do. We would build forts, play cops-and-robbers, have lightsaber battles, and run around in the woods.

Jumping into the middle school years, my family had started going to a new church and I didn’t like it. I hated (and still struggle with) change. Switching churches meant finding new friends. Completely new friends. I was homeschooled, so even though I had to make new friends at church I didn’t have the “old friends” from school to fall back on for comfort. And what made this process even more difficult was the fact that there seemed to be two cliques even at this young age: the boys and the girls. These were the kids that had been together in the same church since they were probably in diapers. I was the awkward red head that came in “mid-season” and had no one to talk to. Luckily I met the girl who would become my middle school best friend. She was also homeschooled and had similar interests, so we were socially awkward together. This led me to start hanging around girls more often. We would hang out to sew and talk about fashion. Don’t get me wrong, I still had my guy friends, but it was girls who took up more of my time.

Now on to high school. I would still build forts on occasion with my little siblings, and paint my sisters nails, but I had moved on to bigger things for the most part. School, church, choir, and eventually graduation dominated my high school years. My guy/girl friend ratio was pretty equal. We would do different things as a group: we had a 4-H club, we would go to see movies, and we would even host historical dances (you know: the Virginia reel, Carolina promenade, waltzes…). We were nerds, but we were nerds together! These type of relationships continued when I got to college. I enjoyed hanging out with guys as well as girls. Nothing really seemed awkward around them. They were just other creatures created by God.

This is just a little synopsis of my life and relationships thus far. You may be asking yourself what all this has to do with love and relationships. I’m getting back around to that little bit. I would occasionally have a “crush” on one of my guy friends, whether it was my best guy friend from elementary school that my mom would tease me about or the guy that was in my Sunday school class. And that’s all they were: crushes, nothing more. I would think they were cute or smart or funny but I never did anything about it. They were my friends and that’s how I wanted it to stay. I would also never tell anyone about these crushes. I didn’t want to get hurt or have gossip spread. As I got older, it got harder to stop thinking about these emotions, mainly because I felt like I was moving towards the age that I would start looking for a husband. And let me say that I feel like that is my goal in life: to be a wife and mother. (I understand that that isn’t for everyone, but it’s what I want).

On that note you may wonder what’s so great about being single if all you want to do is be a wife and mother. Singleness is something that God gave us to prepare for the next steps in life. Those steps may include lifelong singleness or it may include having a family. God wants us to use this stage of life to develop ourselves and become more like Him. Paul even states in 1 Corinthians 7:8, “Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am.” When we are single, we can devote ALL of our time to serving the Lord. We don’t have to worry about whether our spouse has clean clothes for work tomorrow or whether the kids have eaten. We are only dependent on God. He wants us to use this time to serve Him. Going on a mission trip, teaching a bible study, being an accountability partner, or even knitting hats for orphans in Brazil! Yes, I do know someone who did that, she even got to hand deliver them. How cool is that?! And she was able to do this because she was using her singleness to the best of her God-given ability!

But even if we aren’t meant to be single for the rest of our earthly lives, God still wants us to make the most of it. Use this time to develop a strong relationship with God. Start and keep a quiet time every day. Read his word and meditate on the scriptures! Pray, Pray, PRAY! I can’t stress this enough. When we pray, we give all of our cares, worries, joys and burdens to our heavenly father. We must surrender our lives to the one who created us. And for those of you who feel called to have a husband and family: start praying for them now! There’s no better time to do this. My favorite plan comes from Nancy at Revive Our Hearts which can be found here. She has a 30-day prayer challenge on many different subjects that can be completed in a month. Also use this time to pray for others outside of your family. “And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints” Ephesians 6:18. God wants us to come to Him with anything and everything.

So to wrap things up, I urge you to make use of your singleness. God is preparing you, just like He’s preparing me, to do the work of His kingdom. If we mope around and wonder why we haven’t met “the one” yet, then we are not putting our trust on God’s perfect timing. If He has it in His plan for you to get married and have a family, it’ll happen! This is what keeps me motivated to do my best and press onward. Our goals shouldn’t be to please other imperfect humans, it should be to do God’s will! So, if only for a moment, forget that you are “single” and focus on God’s plan for your life. He put you in this stage for a purpose. It’s not always going to be easy but just remember what James said, “Consider it pure joy, my brother, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” James 1:2-4.

Sincerely,

Ann